Hospital World

As Paul Harvey used to say, I wanted to share the rest of the story in regards to this past weekend’s “swerve” to the hospital. 

First let me say, I got home early this afternoon. Whew! When Dick and I headed to the oncologist on Friday with the small possibility I would require a hospital stay, I probably was leaning a little too much on the word “small”. Little did I know five nights at St. Thomas Midtown was in our future. But it truly was the place God had prepared for me to be. I can now report that my fever is gone, white counts are up considerably, strength is building back, and I can finish healing in our beautiful home as I prepare for my final chemo – one week from today.

To do a quick recap . . . and if I were to incorporate the battle theme that’s been part of this journey . . . I would have to call these days an ambush. A sneak attack. And I would say this one knocked us down. The first two days I was bedridden with a very high temperature that would only go down with Tylenol or Ibuprophen, but then would return again once those had run their course. On the third day, the fever finally broke. (Hmm, great things happen in Scripture on the third day!) And it’s stayed away. Big time answered prayer. Battle won!

Once I was fever-free though, the ambush wasn’t over. The doctors were trying to trace the root of the fever. And sadly, that still hasn’t been determined. There are blood cultures that won’t be ready to reveal any information for a few more days. But my Oncologist, the hospital Internal Medicine doctor, and the Infectious Diseases physician gave me the green light to go home. Because my white counts have been so low, the answer may end up being something very “simple” that, to a person with normal counts wouldn’t ever even be noticed. Bottom line: I’m feeling well, and really glad to be home.

Besides the birth of our two daughters, I’ve only had 2 hospital stays – for my surgery 6 weeks ago, and this past weekend. So this is a new world to me. Let me expound on that. I would say that when you are admitted to a hospital as a patient, you enter a new and exciting place . . . “Hospital World”. It’s a very different world than your normal day to day. This is a place where all kinds of things can be done to your body, at any time of day, by various people you have never met and may never meet again. (These are things that never happen in my normal world – haha!). But the good news? God is ever-present in Hospital World. There were experiences here that opened the door for Him to comfort me, reassure me, hold me, remind me, still me, care for me, and speak to me. God is undeniably near in Hospital World.

C.S. Lewis said it well:
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

God as the Comforter and Prince of Peace in Hospital World:
To raise the levels of my white counts, I was given a shot each day. Shots, in and of themselves, are no one’s favorite thing. But this particular shot had an extra bonus. You had the choice of receiving it in the back of your arm or your stomach. Wow, thanks! Great choices! I was advised that the stomach would be less painful, so that was my choice. How did I make it through? My dear Comforter and Prince of Peace calmed my heart and flooded me with that wonderful peace that passes understanding. 

There were several times when news was delivered to us that wasn’t what we were wanting to hear. My fever was too high, the numbers on yet another blood test weren’t what they were hoping. Besides wanting to get well, I’m a first born, and I want to surpass the marks anyone is asking of me. 😃 But through this whole journey, Dick and I have marveled at the peace God has surrounded us with – even with hard news. And here in Hospital World, we found that same peace waiting for us. 

God allowing His people to minister to me as the Body of Christ in Hospital World:
I’m not a big fan of the port under my right collarbone. I am aware of it more than I like to be. And in Hospital World, the port was accessed (which actually was a blessing because it allowed me to get less needle pokes other places). This meant that every time I would have blood drawn for testing (at least once a day) or be given IV antibiotics, a nurse would come and do this through the port. Dick and I have a way to help me get through this: Because the nurse is on my right side, Dick comes on the left, I turn my head very sharply towards him in order to avoid even a peripheral vision glance at the port as this is happening. We literally stare into each other’s eyes, he tells me I’m doing a good job, and within a minute or two the deed is done. I’ve mentioned in an earlier post that we both had no idea what in sickness and in health would mean when we said our vows 45 years ago, but I’m pretty sure we couldn’t have dreamt this part up! But again, God is very present in Hospital World. And He used my husband to be His hands and feet (and calming face) here, just like He does in our normal world.  

Speaking of accessing the port, Nurse Jenn knew this process is challenging to me, and she had watched Dick in action. So one time when Dick had stepped out to grab us something for lunch and she needed to do a blood draw, she pulled in another nurse to stand in his place. She did this on her own just to help me. So kind. And once again, God was using one of His people to minister to me in Hospital World. 

After my fever broke, my nurse asked if I would like for her to help me shower. I had been at the hospital 2 days and that sounded amazing, but I was a little concerned (though she assured me it would be fine) about getting my port damp. So I turned it down. She suggested she could just help me bathe with a wash cloth and some warm water. That sounded safer to me. But I’m a fairly modest person, and the thought of someone washing my body – even if she’s a nurse, even if she sees people every day – was a little challenging. But I agreed to it. And she allowed me to feel so calm and comfortable through the process. We had a wonderful conversation that distracted me from what was happening. I needed the grace she showed me. Oh, did I forget to tell you? Her name was Nurse Grace. 😃

His Word found us in Hospital World:
Once the fever was gone, I wanted to get out of bed and try to build up some strength. It’s amazing how weakened you can get just laying in a bed all day and night. Dick and I would mask up and walk laps around the 5^th floor area. 

As we began to notice the art on the walls, we saw many scripture pieces. My eye and my heart began to seek them out, just to soak in whatever verse we might find. Whoever hung those pictures probably had no clue how powerful they would be to me in my recovering state.

Final story: On my last full day in Hospital World, a knock came at the door, and a 30-something gentlemen asked to come in, introducing himself as the Chaplain. Would I like a visit? Dick had stepped out, and I was sitting in the recliner in the room while someone was changing my sheets and I said, “Yes, I’d like that.” He came and sat in the stationery chair next to me, and we began a wonderful conversation. He asked me to tell my story of why I was there. I gave him a quick overview and in the midst, I said, “Jesus is a big part of this story. He is the reason we have hope, strength, and peace in this journey. Can I ask you, what is your faith?” At this point I realized He could have any number of religious beliefs, but I was so happy to hear, “I’m a Christian, too”. This opened our discussion to be centered on God’s goodness and faithfulness, and it allowed him to share scriptures with me of encouragement, mostly related to suffering. So many passages he shared were ones that are already in our “arsenal”. Scriptures Dick and I refer to regularly. To hear them come from this young man encouraged my heart so much. At the end of our time, He prayed a very meaningful prayer over me, I thanked him for stopping by, and felt like I made a new friend. 

I may not see this dear Chaplain again in this life. He lives in Hospital World. And right now, I have zero plans to return there. But I am thankful that God is right in the middle of that realm. His kingdom is everywhere. “For the kingdom of God is among you [because of My presence].” (Luke 17:21) And now that I’m home, His kingdom is here, too. Hospital World wasn’t where I was planning to land for the last 5 days, but how grateful I am that my precious Lord never leaves or forsakes us, and surrounds us with His presence . . . wherever we are. 

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” (Psalm 139:7-10)