Re-entry

One element that you can’t anticipate when you are closing the door on some kind of prolonged illness is what it feels like to walk from sickness back into health. When you’ve spent months (or for some, years) dealing with treatments, precautions, side effects, and seclusion, and then you’re given the green light to move ahead in wellness, it’s an adjustment to get used to being outside of those limitations. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful adjustment! But surprisingly, it feels like re-entry as I step back into a world that used to be the norm. I find myself doing simple things that I’m certain I took for granted – like walking into church, visiting a friend, or even eating in a restaurant. And I pinch myself that I’m able to have those experiences!

We are in the process of traveling to see our families and spending time with those fabulous people IN PERSON. Our first visit was to see our oldest daughter, Whitney, and family. They live in an area near a beautiful bike trail, and the six of them now use that mode of transportation to grab a meal, visit a Farmer’s market, or just get some solid exercise. Dick has ridden for many years and I would call him a bona fide cyclist. I, on the other hand, have a high-quality bicycle, but would label myself a bike rider. There’s definitely a difference in the skill levels for these two terms. 😃

I never used to be nervous to venture out on my bike, but for obvious reasons (like maybe I haven’t been on one for almost a year), it was definitely going to be a challenge. But the opportunity to ride with our children/grandchildren combined with the beauty of the terrain in South Carolina easily lured me into being brave enough to give it a go. The rides we took were not only big accomplishments (we rode about 7 miles at one point to/from a restaurant where we dined), but they were exhilarating!

(Dick and I with our Newby family – Shawn, Whitney, Bear, Beckham, Lanie and Liam)

Since my remission declaration, we’ve been to numerous restaurants, concerts, and church services that were not as “safe” to visit during the 7 months when I was fighting the disease. Sometimes as we pull into the parking lots, I will think to myself, “Is it okay for me to do this? Am I risking my health?” Sounds a little silly, I’m sure. But when your immune system has been shot and you are wanting to be as smart as possible during all that treatment, maybe it makes more sense.

As we settle back into a similar life to what we were living up until December 4, 2025, I’m desirous of walking in a place of contentment. What I mean is, now that I’m in remission and I don’t have to focus on medications, protocols, side effects, treatments, appointments and all the other complications surrounding ovarian cancer, I’m finding contentment in simple tasks and opportunities.

I’ve always loved this passage from Paul’s writings: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:12) Stay with me here for a minute. When I read this verse, I think, “Hmmm, I can understand needing to develop a heart of contentment when I’m hungry or living in want. But why was Paul struggling to be content when he was well fed? Or when he was living in plenty? Wouldn’t he already be content if he had all he wanted/needed?” And the answer stares me in the face. Paul wrote those words because no matter what situation we can be in, we must work at being content. I googled the definition of contentment and here’s what it said: a quiet state of being happy, peaceful, and satisfied with your life right now. Whatever state we are in and whatever might be swirling around us, we are called to find satisfaction, fulfillment, and a heart of thanksgiving in Christ.

I think contentment is easiest to walk in when we remind ourselves of God’s sovereignty. Recognizing that the Lord was not only aware of everything I would face through this last season, but it was His best plan for me . . . there is something very calming, settling, and freeing about that. God doesn’t make mistakes. God doesn’t miss details. His ways are not our ways, but His ways are best. Every time.

Others have said this so well:

“Happiness [or contentment] isn’t something that depends on our surroundings. It’s something we make inside ourselves.”
(Corrie ten Boom)

“I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been born in God’s thought, and then made by God is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.” (C.S. Lewis)

“Next to faith this is the highest art – to be content with the calling in which God has placed you.”
(Martin Luther)

“As long as a man is alive and out of hell, he cannot have any cause to complain.”
(Charles Spurgeon)

“If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine!” (Elisabeth Elliot)

“Spread out your petition before God, and then say, ‘Thy will, not mine, be done.’ The sweetest lesson I have learned in God’s school is to let the Lord choose for me.” (Dwight L. Moody)

And finally

“God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you.” (Augustine)

A new chapter has begun for Dick and me. It’s a season of freedom and anticipation. It will be filled with common experiences that will be familiar to us once again. It will also include new doors and pathways that I already am sensing are ahead. And whether I’m coasting on my bike, hugging a grandchild, attending a women’s event at church, or eating fajitas at Chuys, I will embrace what’s ahead with gratitude because my sovereign, all-knowing, wise Heavenly Father has ordained it. As always, God’s word says it best:

“Godliness actually is a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment [that contentment which comes from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God].”
(1 Timothy 6:6, Amplified)