Bad Hair Day
This was a post I was inwardly hoping I wouldn’t ever write. Sure I was told at the beginning of this journey that a probable side effect from the treatment I’m having would be the loss of my hair. For most women, and this definitely applies to me, our hair is an important part of who we are. Face it, it’s one of the first things you see when you look at someone! And I have always had fun with my hair. Take a moment and absorb the photo below. 🙂
I’ve always had an abundance of hair. Remember Roseanne Roseannadanna? (If not, google her). Back in the day, my hair could easily rival hers! In fact, Dick even named my hair “our third child”. So the thought of having no hair on my head . . . it’s been hard to even imagine.
To prepare for this, a friend recommended I go to a store in Brentwood simply called “The Wig Shoppe”. I had probably passed by this place hundreds of times during the years we lived in Brentwood and never noticed it. My sister, Missy, agreed to meet Dick and I for our consultation (the store is open by appointment only) and we were greeted by a lady who was made to be in this role. She was kind, gentle, and yet very upbeat and encouraging. I felt a bit numb standing amongst all of the many wigs displayed around the room and taking in the reason we had even walked in the door. Tears. Thankfully, Missy took the lead and chose several styles for me to try on. There was one in particular that looked the most like my hair, so we took it home. At least I’d be ready. (This is me trying on the wig we bought).
A few days ago, I was washing my hair and noticed more than normal laying in the bottom of the bathtub. I knew the process was beginning. I wrapped my hair tightly in a towel (which is my norm after a hair washing) and kept it there for longer than usual. Maybe holding those hairs captive? I gently removed the towel and went around my head with a comb. I was doing this with such a light touch and yet the hair was coming out in clumps. More tears. I put a beanie on my head and determined I would keep it on to hold the remaining hair in place. Denial? Yes, maybe so. But perhaps I just wanted to slow the process down.
I then asked the Lord for a favor. Would He allow me to keep what was left of my hair at least through my birthday? (I don’t know why that was so important to me, but it was.) And God graciously said, “yes”. On January 12, 2025, much of my hair was still intact.
And then January 13 came along. I knew that my next shampoo would probably be one of the last times I would feel hair on top of my head. And I was right. I have to say that as a woman, I’m not sure there is a way to prepare for this to happen. My dear husband helped me gently remove large, loose wads of hair from my head, as I let many tears flow. As I type this, all that’s left are a few wispy locks here and there.
So another new normal begins. Wigs, turbans, scarves, beanies, baseball caps, baseball caps with attached hair (see photo at the beginning of this post) . . . these will all be important elements of my wardrobe for the next months.
One thing that my precious husband has been saying to me through this part of the journey (besides telling me I’m beautiful, which means the world right now) is, “You are more than your hair.” And then he taps his index finger near my heart and says, “Who you are is right here.” And I’m doing my best to embrace that.
God is speaking so profoundly to me in this season. His nearness is palpable and He is providing consistent grace to help in my times of need. (Hebrews 4:16). Sometimes the scriptures He brings across my path are so perfect for the emotions I’m experiencing, I have to smile. And when it comes to losing my hair, I believe He knew I would need one of those “neon flashing light” passages. So as one of my most prominent and visible features has been taken away for this season, here is one of God’s lessons for me: (Paul is addressing wives in this passage) “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4, NIV). Wow, thank you Lord for putting those verses in the Bible for me to see in this season!
And there is one more to hold on to: Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, Amplified)
35 Comments
Ruth Schmidt
You are dealing with this with such grace! I went through a battle with breast cancer 20 years ago (!). And yes, the hardest part was not the chemo, or the radiation, it was losing my hair – which, like yours, was long and thick. But it’s a season, and it passes. You have the strength to get through this, and you have such a wonderful team walking through this with you – Dick, your sister, your daughters and many, many friends! Hang in there Mel!
Karen Brown
I love you Melody! 🎶 God knows!
Nancy Anders
Wow Mel! Your pictures are amazing! What an amazing ministry the wig lady has because she certainly had a perfect match and the perfect personality to make you feel comfortable-yay God🙌. I just want to DITTO all that your friends have written to you above❤️ you are such a beautiful SOUL and God has gifted you in so many ways. You have blessed countless number of people in your ministry. From the first day we met on the Truth bus to staying connected by Facebook, you shine His Light so bright. I pray for you every day as so many are, as well! Thank you for sharing this hard journey with us all so we can pray for the particular things that are so difficult. Thank you for posting the beautiful pics. Whether it’s with your big beautiful smile and twinkling eyes to telling us about the tearful and vulnerabile experiences, God shines thru you. I’m sure there are days you may not feel it at all, that is ok!
We love you dearly and we all lock arms lifting you up to Jesus!!!! And prayers for Dick as he walks closely with you, as one🙏🙏🙏
Romans 15:13
Sue Timpe
Oh Mel. I went through this with lymphoma last year (15 years after having it before). It is SO hard – I’ve always loved my thick hair. I had the same little cap you are wearing! I also bought ones that had a bandana print. They were always more comfortable than my wig. They are also partial wigs made to wear with a baseball cap. I know the pain, and will be praying that the chemo achieves its desired goal and the Lord heals it all!! I am cheering you on!
Picked you up at the Seattle airport years and years ago. I remember you and Bonnie and I showing each other our kids’ pictures in our wallets (before cell phones!). Take care!
Sue
Sara Olson
Love you Mel! You are indeed so much more than your hair – you are your heart! And you own mine. I love you and I am praying!
Beth B.
What a wonderful reminder, “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”…
I found your blog through your daughter Whitney (Brighter Day Press has been a gift for myself and my young son!) and will continue to pray for you and your husband as you walk through this season. The Lord is with you!
If you have not read the poem “Do The Next Thing”, it is wonderful. Such an encouragement to me and I hope it is for you as well!
“Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing”.
Sharon Moffett
Your beauty definitely comes from within as you exude the Lord through the eyes of your soul. I think of you and pray for you each and every day. I bet your hair will come back even better 😘
I will be praying for that! Much love to you. You are a gracious woman of God and I appreciate you. ❤️
Tere Gardner
Such wonderful scriptures to remind us who we truly are. You are beautiful inside and out. I love your sweet smile! I can’t image how hard this is but it will pass soon and your hair will grow back. I’ve heard many women say it grows back thicker.
I’m so glad Dick is right by your side and your whole family and friends. You are being covered in prayer, Mel🙏🙏🙏❤️
By the way, I love your wig!!!
Tere Gardner
Cindy Roberts
You are beauty and grace personified, Mel. We are with you. I love you
Kay Sasser
I would have never known that was a wig. I thought it was your hair. My Thoughts and Prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing your life. Take care.
I will even send a hug!
Linda Toney
You are a beautiful woman and your heart is shining through in your post! I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose your hair, but you sharing your story will help so many women that are going through the same thing. You have a wonderful encourager walking through this with you. Dick is a keeper!😊 Praying God gives you new strength each day for such a time as this!❤️
Tammy Carroll
You have and will always be a beautiful lady, inside and outside. The wig you bought looks very natural and good on you. Your just one of those women who looks pretty no matter what she puts on her head. I tell my granddaughter she is beautiful and she would still be beautiful even, if she had a nap sack on her head and your the same way.
They say when your hair comes back it’s sometimes a different texture. For instance if it’s straight it may come back curly.
Dick is right. You have the sweetest smile and disposition and it’s because you have Jesus in your heart.
We’re praying for you and Dick too. If we can help you, please let us know. 💕🙏
Cristy
You are beautiful Mel. Praying for you and Dick everyday 💛
I love that picture of you and Dick.
Caryn Collier
Thank you, Mel for sharing your story. Continuing to pray for you and all of the emotional challenges involved with this healing process.😢
Kim Robinson
The wig looks great! Beautiful as always. You have to find what you feel the most comfortable with. The hair is what everyone relates sickness with. I had a friend that graciously offered to shave my head for me before the clumps fell out. She knew that I more than likely would have had to do it by myself if she didn’t offer. We laughed and cried, but her thoughtfulness meant so much. I was still working and didn’t want to have to explain to first graders why I looked different after the trauma they went through with me being out 2 months prior that my chemo treatments, so I did it a little early. When I came back to work I had a new “do”. You are handling this with grace! Still praying. Love and hugs.
Kimberley James
I cant hardly see the screen or letters for the tears:(
Like another person said earlier you are handling this with sooooo much grace and dignity and love it is no secret where your heart is!
For out of the abundance of our hearts the mouth speaks.
I’m praying for you both and love your words of wisdom as you post! it is soooo obvious the Lord has you and surrounds you with His mercy and grace!
love you
kim
Shauna Bryan
Mel, You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know Pepper is cheering you on from up above!
Your strength & vulnerability in writing this blog just amazes me ~as I know with God all things are possible. Keep on healing & inspiring folks 🙏♥️
Ann Brooks
From the time we met as next door neighbors, I saw the beauty of your gentle and quiet spirit. Your love for Jesus and the desire to help others know Him better radiated from your face, from your welcoming heart. While I do remember your lovely hair and also know personally how much we women delight in our hair, it is your inner beauty that remains in my memory. How loving of our Lord to bring that verse to you exactly when you needed it. How loving of Dick to also point to your heart! Sending a long distance big hug your way! Praying! Love, Ann
Nicole C. Mullen
Hey Sis! I was just thinking about you and meant to text you a day or so ago! I’m super proud of you and still grateful for our brief catch up conversation a couple of months ago. Mel, You are Beautiful inside and out! The oil in your lamp will not run out but will continue to burn bright, because the source of it does not derive from you. So sis, keep standing, keep shining, keep singing, keep praying, believing, expecting, loving, living, reporting, crying when needed and laughing.
I won’t minimize the hair thing…because it’s real!
I know it’s not the same, but I’ve been buying hair for years 🤪…and it can be fun at times to try different hair styles! So, knock the devil out by continuing to find and hold on to your joy!
We are standing with you and
Love you dearly
Amy Maze
You do have beautiful hair, but are so much more beautiful on the inside too! As someone who also loves hair, I can imagine what these days were like for you. I appreciate the candor in your writing about this journey. You are on my prayer list as well as so many from our church. May God richly bless you today in ways you didn’t expect! ❤️
Jasa Young
Oh precious Mel! You never cease to amaze or inspire. I love and admire you deeply. Big hugs and big prayers as you face this extraordinary obstacle.
Denice Hornbaker
Sweet Mel, You do have beautiful hair, but my sweet sister, you are beautiful inside and out. You shine Jesus so brightly thru your smile, your eyes and your words (whether speaking or singing). You make everyone around you feel so special and important. I see the fruits of the Spirit through you. I can’t even begin to imagine all the emotions you’re going thru right now and would never negate the sadness you feel over loosing your hair. But what I do know is that our Jehovah El Roi does see and for every tear He wipes away, He holds you that much closer. Jehovah Shamar is with you always. Thank you for sharing your heart with us so we know how to pray for you. I pray for you faithfully my sweet friend and love you bunches
Denice Hornbaker
I love your wig. You’re beautiful! It looks so natural.
Melinda Jernigan
Sweet Mel, Girl, us Texas girls have always loved our big hair! Losing it would be hard for sure. You are so beautiful and full of grace. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are beautiful.
Brittany Lowe
You are so loved.
Laurie Jeron
Oh sweet Melody, I am fighting back tears reading this. While I have not walked that journey I can relate to your words, I know the tears that fall and the desire to hold onto the external. I am glad that Dick has been such an amazing support and for his beautiful words that who you are is in here, pointing to your heart. Praying this part of the journey is short and that God’s healing will come upon you Suddenly and that he will quickly restore what the enemy tried to steal. Sending much love and hugs sweet sister. You are LOVED and there is beauty in the Strength that you are displaying during this journey.
Becky Eaker
Love you Mel, sending hugs and prayers. I am so relieved and thankful that God has this!!!! You look fantastic as always.
Cynthia Crichton
Hear these encouraging words for you: THE CHEMO IS WORKING!
As I’m sure you know, way chemo works is that it keeps fast growing cells from reproducing – cancer is one of those kind of fast-growing cells – so is hair. So…when the hair disappears it is a real good sign that the chemo is doing the right kind of thing in your body!!!
Won’t deny yours is a very emotional, normal response though to lose your hair. It’s encouraging to see the reaction you are getting from Dick, your sister and all family and friends from your support system. It was never your hair or beautiful smile or twinkling eyes (or even your musical talent) that we loved the most about you, but rather that God-given radiant being that you have always been When I see you, I see Christ’s warm embrace, His grace, a transformed spirit that shines with God’s light and truth —one who is trusting God and living out His calling, even when it’s difficult. I’m encouraged in my walk as I see your ability to find strength and purpose through hardship, reflecting God’s presence.
Girl, you are a precious diamond with the immense potential to reflect His glory and doing it well. I, among your many friends, are praying for you daily for strength and fight in this not easy journey. We love you, Mel And I’m loving your new hair pieces!
Sue Moser
Praying great GRACE upon you, Mel. May the Lord cover you with his comfort and love, and may He be so very tangibly present with you tomorrow. Love you so much!
Tiffany Coburn
You are doing so good, Mel. You’re being so brave. And God Bless your AMAZING hubby….he’s standing with you and saying all the right things.
I love you so so much and literally pray for you every single day, as well as at 3ish in the morning when the Lord wakes me….God is right beside you my friend….and so are all of us here.
2 Corinthians 12:9—“My grace is all you need, for my power is the greatest when you are weak.”
Sue Duffield
Bravery rarely announces itself with trumpets; more often it’s found in quiet hearts that keep breathing, believing, and choosing hope in the toughest valleys of life. It’s the kind of courage that leans hard into Jesus when the night feels longer than expected, and still whispers, “I will rise.” (And your hair follicles are listening!) Even though we never met, there is a sacred sisterhood between us — stitched together through countless mutual friends, shared testimonies, and the God who makes musical strangers into family. For it is written, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). In that kind of hope, we stand — connected, courageous, and never alone. And we (my husband Jeff and I) think Dick hung the moon too, so….
Denise Pagano
Oh sweetie! My heart was breaking for you and it was so beautiful how God literally wrapped you in His Mighty arms!! YOU have ALWAYS have been beautiful and it comes from your SOUL and your sweet warm amazing heart!!! I adore you; and your sweet family! Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers from Houston! (And if I lived closer….you KNOW I’d be bringing you some food too!!)
Karla Strawser
Mel, you look stunning in your wig! No one would ever guess that is not your real hair. You are just as beautiful as always – inside and out and such an inspiration. Your strengths lifts me up. Praying every day for you!
Connie Edwards
You look beautiful in your new wig. I remember doing this same thing when I was going through breast cancer back in 2007. One of your friends commented that it is a season, which is true. I did what others recommended and had my head shaved so I wouldn’t see the hair coming out in clumps. It did feel weird but at least I felt a little in control of when it came out. My husband, David called my wig my fun hair so that was fun! Praying for your health and healing through this process. God bless you and may He provide you with His comfort and peace during this season.
Pam Nelson
You are stunning no matter what. The Holy Spirit shines brightly through you!
My sister in law really liked berets! (Amazon)