Pitfalls and Providential Paths
First, let me give a quick update. This has been a much easier week than I had after chemo #1 or 2. (“Easier” being a relative term). I’ve still dealt with a lot of fatigue, but not as much pain. And for that, I am so very grateful! God is answering prayers (thank you to those who are lifting me up!), and I’m experiencing His goodness in real time. 😊
Also, my upcoming surgery is now on the calendar. March 4 is the date, and it’s anticipated that I will be in the hospital for 3-5 days of recovery before heading home. For those who have followed these blog posts, you are aware that my treatment plan for fighting this disease has been: 3 chemo treatments (each 3 weeks apart), surgery (a complete hysterectomy, and removal of anything else that shows signs of cancer), and then 3 more chemo treatments. We’ve known the surgery would be midway through this process, and it’s great to know we are coming up on that point in the timeline.
Before I go on, let me explain the title of this particular post. You probably noticed the alliteration with the letter “p”. But there is deep meaning behind each of the words in the title. Here is how I’m defining them:
Pitfall – A hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty
Providential – Involving Divine foresight or intervention
Path or Pathway – A course of action
With those definitions, let’s move forward.
As I ready myself for surgery, I’m realizing it is easy for my mind to subtly veer off the providential pathway I believe the Lord is leading me on through this journey. Dick and I are daily bombarding the throne for wisdom, guidance, and peace in every step we take. We are listening, waiting, and watching God open/close doors in this process. And we could tell you story after story of how we have gotten to where we are now. More on that in a bit.
But as we walk this road, there are definitely some pitfalls we have encountered along the way. Some of them sneak up on us, but others can actually be sorted into several very defined categories. Here are three we’ve encountered:
Pitfall #1 – Looking back over our shoulders, questioning
You’re probably reading this and realizing, yes, this is never a good plan. But just to assure you, here are 3 scriptures that help back up this concept:
“I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling me.” (Philippians 3:13-14)
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
And then I love this one:
“Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” (Ecclesiastes 7:10)
It does me no good to second guess or wish for a different scenario with my illness. Asking why or what if can send me down a trail I don’t need to be on. What actually DOES help is to realize God has led me here, it’s not a mistake (His or mine) and somehow there is purpose in this journey. Onward we go (not backwards).
Pitfall #2 – Comparison with others
While, of course, it is helpful to know what other ovarian cancer patients have experienced – treatments that have worked for some, and regimens that might not have – Dick and I are learning that every person’s body makeup, overall health, age, etc. plays into individual care and recovery. And even more than that . . . the BIGGEST factor of my future is dependent on God’s sovereignty. His will. His plan. Why are some people healed, and others are not? That’s a hard question to ask. But in the context of my relationship with the Lord (His shamar love for me, His mercy, His perfect goodness) I’m learning to rest in His ways even when they don’t make sense to me. If I’m honest, I’d love to be doing all kinds of other things with my life right now at age 66. But I find myself with a port in my body to receive chemotherapy, resting at home between treatments, seeing my family via FaceTime rather than in person . . . and the aspirations I might desire are definitely back-burnered. Why? I don’t have answers to all of those questions. But part of this journey is about trusting that I’ve been chosen (see earlier post) to walk this particular road for such a time as this. And there is no room for comparing my circumstances with anyone else’s.
A story that has always been a “lightbulb moment” for me is found in John 21. Jesus has just asked Peter, “Do you love me” 3 different times and 3 different ways. Jesus then shares a prophecy of what Peter will face in the days ahead. After that, here’s what we read: “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, ‘Lord, who is going to betray you?’) When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him? Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.’” (John 21:20-22).
Have you ever asked the Lord, “Hmmm, what about him?” Or her? Or them? Like me, you probably have. And like me, you’ve found that to be a pitfall question.
Pitfall #3 – Looking too far ahead, worrying about the future
From day 1, my doctor/friend instructed me not to spend lots of time and energy searching the internet for information. I saw the wisdom in that immediately, and with rare exception I have made a point not to go to Dr. Google for details or advice on ovarian cancer, hysterectomies, chemo, or anything along those lines. So with that test, I’ve probably scored about a 99!
But the other day, when I received my pre/post-op instructions, I didn’t score so well on that exam. Of course, the surgical team is required to make me aware of every single issue that could arise after surgery (like those pharmaceutical commercials where those catastrophic complications are rattled off at breakneck speed)! But going through that list can be overwhelming and frightening, to say the least. And sadly, I let it get the best of me for a few minutes.
During those moments, my eyes were taken off of God’s providential path. (He certainly knows everything that could happen in and after a surgery! Remember, no surprises with Him). As I let my imagination wander, it was easy to find myself ignoring Jesus’ teaching to “take one day at a time” – which he wisely and intentionally followed with, “Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) When I look too far ahead, analyze, overthink . . . you know the drill . . . this, my friend, is a pitfall.
So, to wrap up . . . the goal is obviously to avoid the pitfalls we face and do our best to trust the providential paths God has forged just for us. Certainly, easier said than done. But we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. And, as always, His word will bring comfort, strength, hope, and security if we will hold firmly to it. No matter what you may be facing, remember the Lord has a providential path designed exactly for you! And no matter what that looks like, it’s the best place to be.
“I am teaching you the way of wisdom; I am guiding you on straight paths.”(Proverbs 4:11)
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” (Isaish 42:16)
And of course . . .
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, Amplified).
29 Comments
Vicki Evans
Wow Mel! How like you to encourage others as you walk this hard path. Thank you for continuing to share God’s insights as you go along. As always, we are praying for you and for Dick. Asking Him for healing and comfort as you proceed. Waiting in expectation for God will do. He is already at work as evidenced by your posts.
Vondell Arledge
Praying for you daily!!🙏🙏🙏
cyndi grace
I find it wonderful that God would choose March 4 for the surgery. If you said it aloud, it is an order: March forth! God wants you to keep marching forward and has stamped that in the date! That’s my God. I will begin my prayers now for that. Love you.
mel.tunney@gmail.com
Okay, I LOVE THAT!! Leave it to you . . . 🙂
Carolyn Parr
Dear Mel, I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but you are doing it as a champion! That doesn’t surprise me, because as far as I know you, you are one who always runs toward the roar, not from it. You are an amazing inspiration in trusting and loving Your God. I am praying for your fight to stay on and your hope to remain bright. If HE is our hope, what else could it be? Love you and grateful to know you.
Cherry Hill
Love you…..
Nancy Anders
“March forth” on March 4th.. wow. great catch on the words for that date🙌🙌🙌 😊That’s the words to pray for you, especially that day!!!! Mel, you have always been a blessing but during this time, you are blessing us all, to the deep! Love you so much and continue to pray for you daily!!!! 💕
Tedd Comerford
Hi Mel – I apologize I am late responding to your medical journey. I mean that – I am sorry. I want you to know, though, I have been praying for you, daily, each morning. I am writing to you now to say how amazing your strength and encouragement are. This has been said by others that it is no surprise you are giving so much encouragement to others and pointing so much focus on God and what He’s done and will do. I am very thankful for all of the times you encouraged me (while in a large choir). You and Dick are amazing and know that Lisa and I here in Gainesville, FL., have you two (and your family) on our minds and in our prayers. Truly, much love to you both in this journey.
Greg Johnson
I love this from Tim Keller. Everything is going to be okay because Christ is risen indeed.
Greg Johnson
https://youtu.be/ps3C6HVAzqU?si=WxyuvX5XtpVVGzPR
mel.tunney@gmail.com
Loved this. Really enjoyed watching TK speak these words. So powerful!
Barbara Vick
Mel – you are certainly an extraordinary woman, but I feel like I knew that when you were just a teenager and part of the intermediates at FBC Fort Lauderdale. God is using you in awesome ways to help us dig deeper than those surface reactions, and I love that. Your focus on God and His omnipotence, amazing grace and unfailing love through it all is truly admirable and deeply moving! Thank you! We are praying for you, as we pray for some other special friends on a similar journey to yours, and will double up on those prayers as you undergo surgery and recovery. We know He is able and He cares for YOU! Is anything too difficult for him? No!!! Praise His holy name!
Cristy Ludwig
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Praying for you and Dick every day 💛
Laurie Jeron
Wow, Melanie this is powerful. Thank you for your honest transparency as you walk through this trial. As someone who has gone through a different health journey, your words resonate deeply. Keep you eyes on HIM. He is all we have, He is all we need. He is our great Shepherd and we have all we need. Continued prayer rise for you. Still asking for some supernatual intervention and healing to shorten the journey if He can do that but knowing He will sustain with His love, grace and mercy. May you feel Him holding you close. Sending much love.
Karla Strawser
This was such an encouragement to me. I’m known for thinking about the pitfalls in situations. But the providential pathways are where we find life and peace. Such a good word. Thank you for sharing it. I am putting March 4th on my calendar. I’ll be praying and looking forward to hearing and praising God for your good report.
Sharon Moffett
You’re amazing Mel. 💕
God is speaking to you and though you. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’ll be praying for you. 🙏
Todd Twining
You are loved and lifted up. Thank you for sharing your journey. Another P – your perseverance is bringing encouragement. Thank you for pressing in to the Lord.
Amy Maze
Your faith has always been an example and even more so now as you have shared so much through this journey. I’m praying for you!
Greg Yoder
Thank you for sharing this, Mel. These are words EVERY Christian should read whether they’re going through sickness or not. It’s amazing what God gives us to share in the shadowlands. We are praying for you at Keys for Kids Ministries.
Becky Eaker
Hey sweet Mel, it’s in our suffering that we have the opportunity to glorify God. You are doing this with your words and actions. Thank you for sharing about our God’s faithfulness! Love you & Dick
Hetti-Marie Manu
Thanks for this post. My friend recently shared three words with me to describe God and I will share them with you: Powerful, Sovereign and Good. He is carrying you every step of the way and I have the utmost gratitude that you would share your faith walk with us in real time. Not easy. But we trust a God who has never failed an won’t start now. Praying and cheering on the sidelines for you!
Ed Nalle
Mel, I am greatly encouraged by the way you are walking this path that the Lord has laid out for you. I’m also thankful for the way you are using God’s word in this trial. I will continue to pray with you and Dick, that God will be glorified, that Christ’s joy will be in you and that your joy will be full.
Karen Brown
Love you! You always encourage me with your love of the Lord and His comfort! 🙏🏻
Wei Hu
Dear Mel,
I heard about your illness on your birthday. In that moment, along with shock and sadness, my heart was unexpectedly filled with hope and peace—because I know you are someone who walks closely with the Lord and continually encourages others. You have always reflected His glory.
About a month before that, I watched the BBC Christmas concert and longed to see you and Dick on stage, but you weren’t there. I later learned that you had moved.
A few days afterward, Amber and I were driving back from a ski trip and passed through the city where you live. I told Amber, “This is where Mel and Dick live.” I love that city because you called it home.
Dear Mel, please forgive me for only writing now. The news of your illness has been heavy on my heart every day—painful and weighty, leaving me almost unable to speak. But I know everything is in God’s hands, and I have been praying for you with tears each day.
Mel, stay strong.
I look forward to seeing you again very soon.
With love.
Beth (Wilson) Simonds
My verse for this year: “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. I am not good at the “be still” part. I have failed miserably my whole life trying to control/juggle the 100 things I’m involved in all at one time. And then…God, in His loving wisdom, quietly steps in and brings me back to Him, back to my knees, back to more time spent chatting with God by bringing into my life something that reminds me to focus more on Him: end of my career, my own cancer, my husband’s temporary illness, my daughter’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis, etc. Reflecting (not looking back with regret) on my past reminds me how He has directed my own path.
This will not be a fun, easy path for you, but God in His wonderful, loving way will bring you through this with new lessons learned and so many ways to help others along this path. Thank you so much for sharing your journey/path with all of us.
Russ Lee
Mary and I are praying for you and your precious family as you walk through this season. May you sense with resounding confidence the love and presence of your Heavenly Father. May His heart and hands be evident through every step He leads you to take. He is faithful and He will do it!❤️
Melissa Wald
I am praying for you. I know the journey you are on, while yours is different, as all of ours are, we can at least share in the fear, pain, etc. of the unknown. But I know a God that I talked to through the tough times. I would talk to him while alone in my house – I would pray directly to Him. He was faithful. He will be faithful to you I believe. Do not fear. Although we are human, so we fear. It is really hard to DO NOT FEAR. God will supply what you need. I am 11 years out – and God has been faithful. Trust in him as I KNOW you do.
Bruce Cokeroft
Somehow, Mel, I’ve missed the information of your treatment journey and I’m so sorry about that. You popped-up on my FB feed today. Thank you for sharing your courageous and spiritual encouragement. I’m going through a cancer journey of my own, though I have not been quite as out there with it to date. We all love you and are praying for the Lord’s healing! ❤️🙏🎼😊
Patty Bowman Kingsley
Thank you Mel. I am praying with and for you and your family. I appreciate what you are communicating to us, as you walk through “the valley of the shadow “.
Blessings and Peace to your heart and soul.
Patty