The In-Between Times
We’ve all watched those well-produced pharmaceutical commercials with healthy, laughing vibrant people (Are there really folks out there who are THAT happy about using a certain kind of medicine?). After you’ve had about 30 seconds of learning how you might be helped, you’re inundated with a multitude of medical disclaimers. You may hear something like this: Side effects can include nausea, diarrhea, constipation, weight loss, weight gain, headache, dizziness, fatigue, runny nose, sore throat, toes falling off, hair turning green, etc. . . . (and this is said at break-neck speed where words are an absolute blur).
As we began our journey of chemotherapy, it was a similar scenario. Dick and I were seated with a very informed nurse who went through a booklet she gave us to take home. Each potential side effect was talked about in detail, followed by the best remedy for dealing with said side effect. We were also told that I may deal with a few of these menacing issues . . . or all of them . . . no one could predict. Welcome to the world of chemotherapy.
Friday, December 26, was my first treatment. There’s an “arc” to the days after a chemo – the first 48 hours or so tend to be pain-free as a portion of the treatment (a steroid) is in full bloom. Fellow patients and nurses will then warn of the “crash” once the steroid has run its course. We were under the impression that it might be a fatigue-based crash, but we quickly found out that it was a pain-and-discomfort-based crash. Starting late Sunday afternoon and into Monday there were things taking place in my body that weren’t pleasant. Sleep was fleeting, there was no way to get comfortable, and the over-the-counter pain meds were utterly useless. A quick call to the doctor and a stronger prescription pain med got me on the way to feeling better relatively quickly and allowed me to feel a little more like myself. In the ensuing days (I’m on day #12 after treatment now), I have dealt with a little nausea, a little discomfort (I can’t really call it “pain”, thankfully), and definitely some fatigue. But outside of that, I am faring pretty well. My white count is down (which can lead to a weakened immune system), specifically from day 7-14. So we’ve chosen to hang out at our home until I head out for my labs, which will precede my next treatment, on January 13. I don’t mind this at all. Our new home in Bowling Green is in the country and I’m blessed with amazing views to the north, south, east, and west. And having groceries delivered? I may not grab a shopping cart for a long time. (And yes, the photo below is one of our views.)
Many friends have said, “What can we do to help you?” And that’s a really good question! When I’m the one asking this (rather than being asked), I find it fulfilling to be able to step in and ease a portion of someone else’s burden. (That’s scriptural, by the way. Galatians 6:2). But right now, we’re relatively comfortable and our needs aren’t many! So I don’t have great answers to that question. This could change as we continue through the chemo treatments and surgery . . . stay tuned. It’s a day by day new normal.
With all of that said, this feels like a good time to offer some suggestions for those of you who are reading and might have someone in your life who is in a similar place as I am. Here are a few thoughts that you may be able to use to support and care for a friend:
Offer to bring a meal – But make sure you check on food restrictions and nutritional values that are being utilized. Dick and I have changed our eating completely – with all kinds of new stipulations that we are actually enjoying. And what my friends knew would work in past days (okay, I love Poppyseed Chicken!) isn’t always the best option for right now. Just ask the one you’re helping what would work/sound good to them, and that will be a blessing!
Greeting cards in the mail – We’re so accustomed to dropping a text or shooting an email, and those definitely have a place! But for those who may be confined to home or a hospital bed, it’s always a treat to open a card and read a handwritten message from a friend or family member. I’ve also received a few drawings from grandchildren. Nothing tops those!
Text a scripture – That is one of the best “daily gifts” I’m consistently receiving. To open a text and see God’s word . . . for me . . . in that moment – it means so much!
Ask to stop in for a brief visit – As we struggle physically, there are times when immune systems are compromised, or we may be too fatigued to spend time talking with anyone. But there are also times that a fresh and friendly face is just what the doctor ordered. Our niece Maddie dropped by for a quick visit on her way back to college yesterday, and it was such a treat to see her!
And of course . . . pray! Don’t just say you will pray, really spend time lifting up your friend/family member. Prayer changes things. Prayers matter! When I’ve read comments on this blog or on my Facebook posts and someone tells me they are praying for me, it bolsters my own faith. If everyone who said they would pray are, in fact, praying, the gates of heaven are being bombarded daily on my behalf. I can’t tell you how this encourages both Dick and me.
Jesus may not have specifically been talking about these “in between” days in the Sermon on the Mount. But His words apply to this season in a vivid and powerful way. And though you may not be walking out a cancer diagnosis, you probably need to hear them as much as I do. So I’ll close with this: “Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ . . . But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:31, 33, 34)
24 Comments
Dennis Morgan
Praying many things right now Mel. But one, in particular, is that you will continue to be somewhat of an exception, experiencing fewer of the dreaded side effects, and that they will be less intense than you have been told to reasonably expect 🙏🏼!
And, of course, for a blessed birthday celebration on the day before your next treatment. I highly doubt whatever you do will be how you thought you might be spending your next birthday, but my prayer is that it will be a memorable one nonetheless!
We love you both.
Philippians 1:3
Johnny Coggin
Praying for you and Dick as you travel this road together. I know it may seem trite, but this didn’t catch our loving God by surprise!
Cristy Ludwig
Praying everyday 💛
Sue Gay
Beautiful Melodie, thank you for giving us insight into your journey as we surround you with prayers for your recovery. You exude faith and beauty (always have)! May you continue in the peace of the Lord as He carries you through this!
Jerry Anderlik
Your blog posts draw me in each time I read them. God bless you for your openness to share your thoughts. “You [God] will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is *stayed* on you, because he trusts in you.” Perfect peace to you and Dick.
Micki Thurman
The Lord woke me in the 3:00 AM hour to pray for you last night. What a privilege to pray specifically for you. Melodie, I feel so encouraged each time I speak your name to Jehovah-Rapha. He is near to you and cares about you. We will hold to Psalms 118:17 as your promise. This Word has your name on it.
Much love,
Micki
Katharine Wiseman
Father God, we are coming to You and Your Throneroom In The Mighty Name of Jesus. We give you thanks for this beautiful warrior you call Melodie. What a tremendous testament of faith, courage, and love she shows to You as she walks through this valley, yet remains on the mountain top! I am believing in a complete miracle from You, Lord! Thank you for her reminding us in the most difficult times of our lives we are to look to You in all things and rely upon you as we remain thankful. In Your Name, The Name of Jesus we pray. SELAH!
Tiffany Coburn
What an encouraging word, Mel. This should just confirm to ALL of us what a gift God has given you. You are inspiring US as you walk through this tunnel. Please know that praying for you is everyday. Absolutely. You’ve touched my life in such a powerful way. It’s a PRIVILEGE to lift you up to our Father in heaven.
You’re on my heart.
Love you, Mel,
Tiff
Debbie Frick
Melodie, I”ve only met you a couple of times (via Don and Sandi) but I have followed you, hence the way I found out about your journey. I too went through a similar journey in 2007 when I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. I understand the symptoms, procedures and treatments that you are feeling and going through (and can probably predict what comes next). The memories and experiences of my journey have come rushing back as though they were yesterday when I read your story and they are very surreal. It is challenging when friends and family ask “what can I do for you”. PRAYER, it’s such a gift and opportunity that we all can give and share deeply. But I would say a couple of things for you to do; rest when you need to rest, eat a little even though you don’t want to and last but certainly not least lean into your Lord and Savior who loves you above all the rest of us.
God gave me a beautiful platform after my journey and I know He will give you one too.
Arise, shine for your light has come , and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. Isaiah 60:1
May God richly bless you and Dick,
Debbie Frick
Sharon Moffett
From the time I met you when you taught the Bible study in Carronbridge, I knew that you were one of the most godly women I had ever met. I have told my husband that many times and I’m not surprised as you walk through this, you continue to be one of the most godly women I have ever met.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are still teaching us.❤️
I pray for you all through the days as the Lord brings you to mind. xo
Marie Guthrie
Beautifully said Mel. Thank you for this update, your heart and these wonderful ideas. Hugs.
Linda Toney
Mel, thank you for sharing your heart and your path that you are on right now. Just know that Glenn and I are praying for you and Dick. I would love to have your address so I could send you a card.
Tere Gardner
Mel, we are praying for you and Dick daily.
We clung to His word on our journey and still do. We always felt people praying for us! Prayer makes a huge difference. Thank you for keeping us updated and on specific needs, so we can pray for each need🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
Kevin Haynes
Thank you for this blog and for taking us along on your journey! I have to confess that I have held off reading it for a while. My sweet mother fought cancer decades ago, and she really didn’t handle chemo well, so the topic just brings up painful memories for me.
But this isn’t about me! You have been a dear friend for years, and your situation is differnt from my own past experiences. Plus, my faith in God has grown, and He is so much bigger than cancer!
I have been lifting you up every day, Mel. Actually, I have been doing that for a while for all the members of First Call and their families. But my prayers for you individually are more intense now, with the fervent belief that God will continue to intervene and bless you.
Thank you for recommending ways we can encourage and support those who are facing similar battles. Do you have a PO box where we can send cards or letters? Those are so much more enjoyable than plain emails or texts!
I have subscribed to your blog now, and will read each entry eagerly to see how you are doing. God bless you, Mel and Dick! You are definitely NOT alone.
joan boyd
I’m just going to say you inspire me….and I am going to be so bold to say that you are going to be just fine. But just to nail that down I will continue to pray. God is not through with you yet.
Lauri Burnett
I so appreciate your openness in sharing this journey in your life. It’s not an easy one, but I know that you are being cared for by the One who will work it for your good.
My husband is going through a similar journey with Multiple Myeloma.
I will continue to pray, and I take that very seriously, for you both.
Nancy Anders
Melody, as I look at your beautiful pics of your beautiful face, I am praying from my heart and soul for the side effects that could or could not come on you. It breaks my heart that you are having this journey and I know we all are trusting God with the familiar verse …that all things work out good…when we have to really call from the depths of our soul, it becomes a more powerful meaning! We trust and believe WITH you especially when you find it the hardest! We love you dearly!!!! Thank you for your blog to help us know your heart and needs, during these times. God is with you and He hears our prayers🙌 ✝️
mel.tunney@gmail.com
Thanks, Nancy. I don’t know if you remember, but Romans 8:28 was the verse I always shared during TRUTH concerts . . . it has always had deep meaning for me . . . and continues. 🙂
Karen Brown
I have been praying for you Melody. I’ve never walked this road, but I DO know that the LORD is with you! And Dick. He will be with you both during each treatment, each moment, each and every heartbeat! We love you and lift you both! Lean into Him, (which I know you do) Phillip & Karen Brown
Wendy Joseph
Dear Mel, may you feel God holding you close
now more than ever before.
I read recently that sometimes God reroutes our plans so He can reveal His purposes.
I already can see that through this difficult journey you are reaching many people you might never have reached before. Thank you for being God’s voice to us as we see your beauty and faithfulness in this difficult time.
We love you and pray for strength and healing for both you and Dick right now.
Cathie Knight
My Oncologist stressed to me to be proactive. Don’t wait to feel nauseous. Take you nausea pills consistently. The same for pain. Also should you take pain pills make sure you take meds that keep you from (sorry, indelicate) clogging up. Use natural one and take one of those every other pain pill. This advice helped me tremendously. I kept taking my daily walk. Where I used to walk an hour went to 3 hours but it kept my mind bright and a good attitude.
Sandy Roberts
A prayer from Prayer.com
Heavenly father there is something refreshing about a new year – a new beginning – a new time to dream. But before I move forward let me wait upon you and reflect on all you have taught me this last year. As I wait upon you I feel my strength being renewed as I feel you preparing me to mount up and sore into new dimensions of your love. As I wait upon you for wisdom and direction, I begin to reflect on what I have already conquered this last year. I realize what you have taught me through both the blessings and the trials. In retrospect I understand how much I have grown through it all, even when I didn’t realise I was. Thank you for your fountain of blessings that refreshes me and prepares me for the year ahead. I am strengthened in your love so I can run and not grow weary, I shall walk in bold confidence into my future with you by my side, knowing I will not faint no matter what giants I face or what mountains I have to climb. I know you are with me and I will rise up on eagle’s wings and sore above this life’s difficulties. In Jesus name, amen.
Margaret Bohler
Mel… During this time when so many of us hope to encourage you, I find you to be such an encourager. Beautiful words during these challenging times. From a distance, I will continue to pray and follow your journey. I am also praying for your medical team, Dick, family, and for those darling loved ones that we share, that have you are their hearts too. Finally, for whatever journey we are each on, God is in control and that brings me such comfort. So we focus on all that is good and lovely- your sunsets are amazing! May your days and weeks ahead be peaceful and with little discomfort and your healing be complete and swift. Much love! Margaret and Chris
Mike and Joy Karel
What a blessing for your faith!
What a blessing to know your heart!
Thank you for sharing so beautifully, especially in the midst of “not so great circumstances” (to say the least)!
But most importantly, thank you for giving God glory!
Yes, we are praying for you and Dick!