Wise Counsel

One of the services provided in my treatment plan with TN Oncology is the opportunity to connect with a designated therapist/counselor in the Psychosocial Oncology division . The purpose of this meeting is to process all of the changes and “new normals” that come with a cancer diagnosis. I was grateful and looking forward to this chat – whether it would be it a one-time connection, or something ongoing in the future (both were offered). 

Our Zoom call appointment began with several disclaimers. The final one stood out most – All of your information will be held completely confidential unless I surmise that you are a threat to yourself or to others. Hearing those words and knowing there is a reason to put that on the table, made me very thankful that I can’t even relate to those possibilities.  

The majority of our conversation was filled with questions to draw out my mental/emotional stability during this season: What have your lowest points looked like? Have you ever experienced deep anxiety or depression? What are your coping strategies? These are questions I’ve honestly not considered, and I think it was helpful to take a step back and give answers to them.

But let me push pause here and explain what began to happen as words came out of my mouth. I started to understand how my mental health is inextricably linked to my spiritual health. 

Having a diagnosis like ovarian cancer WITH the hope of Jesus – the knowledge and trust in His sovereignty  and recognizing He is at the center of every treatment, every decision, and every move we make – is very different than it must be without Him! Early in my conversation with the counselor, I threw out a few stories and sentiments to let her know how vital my faith has been in these last months. Her professional demeanor gave no hint of allowing for this point of view. I’m sure I’m not her only client who has mentioned their trust and hope in God, but this didn’t seem like a path she totally grasped or clinically desired to have filtered into our conversation. 

This brought about some challenges in my responses to her questions. For example . . . 

When she asked about my overall state of mind through this season  – Anxious? Fearful? Overwhelmed? I took a minute to process this, and then clarified that we’ve had very little anxiety and fear. Have there been darker moments? Of course, but for the most part I wouldn’t characterize this as a season that would pull in the words she mentioned. And here’s how I explained that: During this journey, Dick and I are not manipulating the peace we are experiencing. We don’t sit down each morning and say, “Okay, let’s be peaceful!” No, as we give the Lord every concern, through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving (Phil. 4:6), HE is showering us with the promised peace that passes all understanding, which is guarding our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

As she inquired about how I approached my surgery, I enjoyed telling the story of March Forth, and how Dick and I “ran to the battle” with an army of friends and family running alongside us. I think she enjoyed the double entendre of March 4/March Forth, but she didn’t seem to fully grasp how anyone could run confidently towards anything like the surgery I was facing. 

We talked some about the concept of hope. I think her frame of reference came from the question: do you trust the doctors and the plans they have laid out? I understand the fact that for some people, their entire hope and faith is in the doctor, treatment plan, and the successes of other patients. And of course, that plays into my hope as well, in some regard. If I’m having chemotherapy treatments every 3 weeks, I’m certainly banking on them doing what we need them to do! BUT our primary, deep, unwavering hope is in Jehovah Rapha, our God who is the ultimate Healer. At my first appointment with the oncologist, he had just spent a few minutes walking through the findings of my CT scan and then began to lay out his regimen to restore me to health. It was a ton of information, and my head was already beginning to spin. He paused and said, “I know I’ve just presented you with a lot of details you probably have some questions about.” I said, “Yes, there are a few things I’d like to clarify. But first I want to say that if you are to be my doctor and we are to work together, I want to ask that you never say anything to me like, ‘I think you have 6 months, or 6 years.’ Because you don’t know! And our hope is in God who has already laid out all the days ordained for me in His book (Psalm 139:16).” Because we had already established that our oncologist knows Jesus, He readily agreed and thanked me, explaining that other patients do try and pry that kind of specific information out of him and he was aware that he couldn’t give adequate answers. So as I spoke with this counselor, declaring the absolute hope I have in my healing, once again it was challenging to help her grasp that this hope wasn’t something we were conjuring up on our own, and it wasn’t 100% based on any medical strategies we are adhering to. 

Answering another question, I watched her head tilt curiously as I shared that while I would never have picked this pathway, I believe I was chosen to walk it. And God gives me the strength, step by step, to do that. 

I don’t want to give the impression that the therapist I met with wasn’t helpful in some ways. She definitely was. Just having the opportunity to process details that I hadn’t taken time to really think through was valuable. She was a very good listener and often commented on particulars that she could have possibly missed if she wasn’t paying attention. The time I spent with her was important. 

And hopefully as I pointed to the Lord – over and over again – she was drawn to consider how faith in God really and truly is the center of the story for those who are believers. 

Later when I was sharing the highlights of this appointment with Dick, he reminded me of one of God’s names that relates to this meeting. You may be thinking of it with that little hint of prompting. 

Wonderful Counselor

We often concentrate on this name of God during Christmas, as it is found in Isaiah 9:6 and the whole verse says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” I remember growing up thinking that this verse said Jesus was wonderful. And a counselor. Not a wonderful counselor. 😊 (That probably came from Handel’s Messiah where those two words are separated). But actually both words come together to make up this one name. 

The Hebrew word for wonderful actually means incomprehensible or worthy of marveling over. And the word for counselor means advisor or planner/decider/determiner. Put them together, and Jesus is our incomprehensible advisor! And oh, that is so true. As I put my faith, trust, and hope in HIM, I’m reminded of several verses:

“Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?” (Isaiah 40:14) 

The obvious answer is . . . no one. HE is the Wonderful Counselor.

And regarding His wisdom:

“Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have insight, I have power.” (Proverbs 8:14)

And this one:

“I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.” (Proverbs 16:7)

I had a Zoom call appointment with a qualified mental health professional who got to know me on a one-time phone call through a clinical chart that was in front of her. As I mentioned, the time was well-spent and therapeutic. The epiphany was this: every part of me – the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual – is intricately tangled together as we navigate this season. And every facet is being perfectly cared for by my Wonderful Counselor, to whom I have access 24/7, and who has known me since I was in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139). I’m so grateful for the work He’s doing in my body, my mind, and my spirit. This cancer adventure is more than just a medical journey . . .

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” (Romans 11:33-36)